Stop a Divorce Before Your Spouse Moves on

24 January 2009 Categories: 40's and over

Mark Jordan asked:

If you are the one who wants to stop a divorce you will have to convince your spouse to give the relationship another try.  This sounds completely logical but it is the very first simple fact you have to understand.  Of course it isn’t always possible to convince your divorce minded spouse to give the relationship another try but it is imperative if you want any chance of stopping a divorce.  You can stop a divorce at any stage, such as just before the paperwork is filed or even just before the paperwork is approved by the courts.  But the earlier you stop a divorce the more likely that it won’t be brought up again.

To reiterate, convincing your spouse to give your relationship another go around is the very beginning process to stop a divorce.  But this does not mean continuous begging to your spouse.  If you have been doing that it is time to stop.  You may be thinking that you need to do a lot of begging to get the point across as if the more begging the more it will wear down their resistance.  The chances are, your begging is just getting more on their nerves and making them want the divorce even more.  No one wants to be around someone who seems to be unsure of themselves or needy.

Your best move is to explain in calm terms why you don’t want the divorce and you would like another chance at the relationship.  If you can demonstrate some maturity in your behavior and remain calm it might surprise your spouse and help stop a divorce.

Any screaming or angry actions will not help your chances.  Your divorce minded spouse already knows you don’t want the divorce.  Your goal is to just make him or her realize how sad you are about it.  You will be surprised how your mature actions will change your spouse’s behavior and thinking.

Another way to show your spouse that you are being mature about the situation is to suggest marital counseling.  Although some people are against it, counseling has worked for many thousands of couples. Your relationship can benefit from it as well.  You will have to get your significant other to agree to the counseling and that may not be so easy at first.  But if you have them convinced to try again then it will not be hard.  While counseling is taking place you will have even more time to convince them of the stupidity of divorce and the value of giving the relationship another chance.

While you are in counseling you can have the opportunity to figure out why you fell in love with each other in the fist place.  You and your spouse will have time to think of the reasons you got together.  For you to stop divorce you should show an honest effort to deal with the problems mentioned during counseling.  Hopefully this will convince your partner that you are mature enough and concerned about resolving previous marital problems.  This should convince him or her to stop a divorce, at least temporarily if not permanently.

If you do succeed at stopping a divorce, it is important to keep in mind that your divorce minded spouse will always feel that they can always begin to file once again for divorce if need be.  It is easy for some people to change their mind back and forth quickly.  This means you should be aware of the state of your relationship at all times and make an effort to keep the relationship healthy.  Having a good relationship permanently is better than having to stop a divorce temporarily several times.

The Magic Of Making Up

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Meeting People At Christian Dating Sites

24 January 2009 Categories: Uncategorized

The world is a big place with all kinds of people and the Internet is just a representation of that. And that is why, it is difficult to be sure whether the person you meet online shares your same interests, and whether he or she is like you or not. So, what do you do when you want to meet those who are from your same ethnic and religious backgrounds – you turn to religious online dating services. Turn to dating sites for Christians because these are hugely popular religious dating services.

There are many other reasons as well that make dating sites for Christians such a great thing. All you have to do is open a profile and then you are ready to proceed – no need to visit the bars hoping to find someone or be found. If browsing through the great profiles to search for your date privately and securely appeals to you, then these websites are just what you need. You may find that dream date anytime – as you work at the office, travel to work and even when you sleep maybe – the person is maybe checking you out. When you need a service that is convenient, comfortable and safe, you need to turn to dating sites for Christians.

Meeting people online has many advantages. You can meet someone from a distance and there is no pressure of any commitments. Thus you have the time to find out whether you like that person or not, and if you feel this is the case, then you may decide to take it a level higher. It is you who decide how much should be disclosed – there is no pressure at all. There is also no need to spend any real time together with someone you hardly know. Have fun knowing your date better and see where it goes. These websites are just great because they let you build up trust before you advance.

Often we do certain things that we repent later such as going home with someone from a party whom we have hardly know – remember, this can be risky. On the other hand, Christian web sites for dating are completely safe, and they are romantic too.

However, most importantly, they let their members have a great time. You will be wrong to assume that those who are members here are just interested in religion and nothing else. The Christian community members you will find here come from many backgrounds and professions and they are all fun loving. And because of this, we are so certain that you will enjoy yourself.

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What to Do When Only One of You Wants a Divorce

20 January 2009 Categories: 40's and over

Mark Jordan asked:

Divorce sometimes is not a mutual desire of both the husband and wife.  Many times only one party wants the divorce.  Potential divorce becomes a more difficult subject to deal with when this happens.  It is understandable that you will want your spouse to stay and may end up begging him or her.  Begging may not be the best approach.  Stopping divorce and getting your spouse back requires some knowledge of the techniques for stopping divorce.  But even before that, you will have to address why your spouse wants a divorce in the first place.

You should not make the wrong assumption that you need the cooperation of your spouse to stop a divorce from occurring.  On your own, you can begin the process of reconciling the marriage.  Specifically, if you know what to say to your spouse to win them back into your arms you will be able to stop your divorce.  But first you must look at your own role in the disintegration of the marriage.  This works whether you are the one who wants to stay or to leave, because one partner changing their thought process and behaviors can turn a marriage around.

How to Begin Working on Marital Problems

It may seem odd to talk about stopping divorce with only one person working on the marital problems.  After all marriage is suppose to be a partnership.  But when a person gets to the point where they want a divorce the chances are the couple has not functioned as a team for a long time.  The grievances, arguing and emotional damage have led to two people basically living together but not acting as a true married couple. 

The best way to address the problems you are having is to talk to each other.  Not communicating with your spouse will lead to not understanding what his or her problems are in the marriage.  If you are the person wanting the divorce than you already know what problems you are having, but if your spouse wants the divorce than the only way to find out what is bothering him or her is to talk to each other.  You need to understand each other.

Evaluating yourself is the first step in a process that will hopefully lead to a renewed relationship through better communication.  You can begin to change yourself so that your spouse can see that the marriage can be saved and divorce stopped.  You can prove to your spouse, through your actions, that the marriage can be saved.  Showing your willingness to talk is where you alone can work on your marriage.  Knowing the right words to say at the right time to win your lover back is integral to this.  This is part of what can be called the Magic of Making Up.

Identifying Marital Problems and Goal Setting

Once you have identified what the real problems in your marriage seem to be than you can look at yourself and decide what changes you alone can make to improve the situation.  Perhaps you can set goals for yourself such as deciding to not be so critical to your spouse in various situations or to ask their opinion more often.  Maybe you can change the way you judge what your spouse does in relation to your kids.  

The goals you set must be for you alone.  You cannot expect your spouse to readily accept your own goals.  They are personal goals you set for yourself to do, which you think may help stop divorce.  You need to try to teach by example and hopefully your spouse will change from that and realize the marriage is not hopeless and you can both stop a divorce.  It is all part of a plan you must follow to do the right thing at the right time.  As time goes by and your spouse realizes the criticisms have stopped or there is more respect in the marriage again, he or she will most likely begin to communicate more openly.

Basic Building Blocks to a Better Relationship

Taking an unselfish approach with your actions and communications is the way to stop your divorce and get your spouse back mentally.  This is what you are doing when you look at yourself first and determine what changes need to be made in order to improve the marriage.  Each step you take adds a new building block to your foundation so the marriage is stronger than ever.  Don’t blame your spouse alone for the problems, since that will resolve nothing.

You can stop the disintegration of your marriage even when only one wants a divorce.  The right way to communicate is necessary.  This is part of the “magic of making up”; when you know what to say and how to say it to stop your divorce and win back your spouse.  You can learn the techniques and where to start just as others have.

stop divorce

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Romantic Love Letters: Amazing Ways To Use Love You Letters

12 January 2009 Categories: Uncategorized

Do you really have to work at it to write romantic love letters Romantic love letters for the other 364 days of the year? Or do you just wait until Valentine’s Day to jot down a few words to your loved one?

Let me explain. Valentine’s Day comes only once a year, on February 14. You don’t have to wait until that day to write your sentiments to your loved one. If you know how, you can make those special 24 yours of Valentine’s Day stretch out over an entire year.

Today, most people in the United States and Canada share with their loved ones on Valentine’s Day. Men buy flowers and candy, and in some cases jewelry for the women in their lives. Millions of dozens of pink and red roses and thousands of boxes of chocolates and truffles are sold for this day each year.

What Do the Women Do?
According to Wikipedia, the U.S. Greeting Card Association estimates that approximately one billion valentines are sent each year worldwide. Women buy 85% of all valentines. This makes Valentine’s Day the second largest card-sending holiday of the year behind Christmas. And Christmas cards are sent for an entire month!

Are Valentines Enough?
Many valentines today have a variety of verses written in many different tones and words. For example, there are humorous valentines
that poke fun at the person receiving the card and the person giving it. There are risque cards that use tongue in cheek humor with double meanings. There are flowery greetings and verses, religious sentiments and just plain, old fashioned red heart blank valentines.

With all of this outpouring of love and attention on one day, there is a problem. The problem is that Valentine’s Day is fleeting. It comes one day and leaves the next. Just writing “Happy Valentines” is not enough. Forgetting Valentines Day is even worse. If you write romantic love letters all year round, you can celebrate love more often and enjoy life so much more.

Why Regular Romantic Notes are So Effective.
What is good about writing regularly is that it can do better justice for your relationship. Every day of the year is different, and offers a new season for your life.

When you write “love you” letters, you can express your heart feelings and your loving thoughts at the time. Jotting down love you poems on a special piece of stationery creates an unexpected surprise. You don’t have to wait for just one day in February to continue the flame in your relationship. If you struggle to find the words, it helps to look at samples of love letters to get a feel for what words to use. Then, you will have ideas that you can make into your own.

What to Do with Romantic Letters
You can write love you poems and slip them under the pillow. Or put them with a romantic note in lunch or the mail. Imagine the smile on your loved ones face when she pulls the mail out of the mailbox or when he picks up an envelope with your love letter in it.

Creating a loving relationship is not done in just one day. It takes a lifetime, one day at a time. Writing romantic love letters will tell your loved ones what they need to hear from you. Don’t miss your chance when tomorrow arrives. Make sure that you capture the moment by writing a “keeper.”

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Are You A Self-Confident Dater?

09 January 2009 Categories: Uncategorized

Confidence is the major factor when giving a good first impression to a first date. Relationships, thus, depend on one’s ability to be confident in his or her abilities and actions. But confidence isn’t something that befalls everyone- indeed; it can be a hard characteristic to grasp.

Above all else, how one thinks about how they look or act is the biggest flaw in one’s self-confidence. If you feel that you aren’t good looking, have a poor personality, or just don’t see yourself as a “good catch,” your confidence is going to likewise suffer. In this case, it’s best to either become comfortable with yourself, or fix what you see wrong to the best of your ability.

Showing one’s confidence isn’t always as simple as it sounds. Confidence can usually be seen with three different human characteristics- how laid-back one is, how talkative, and how outgoing the person is. If you possess even one of these characteristics, the outlook is good that your confidence can be improved by focusing on your strengths and improving them. Of course the overall goal is to improve yourself all around- so don’t focus on just one trait.

A common trait that is misconstrued as confidence is arrogance. It is very important not to mix these two characteristics of personality, as arrogance can indeed give a very bad impression. Being confident is one thing- but being confident also means being refined and sophisticated. Arrogance usually shows the opposite gender that you are narcissistic or egotistical- and no one wants to date someone with these traits.

Another common flaw in confidence comes from one’s living arrangement. If you live with your parents, have a small or dirty home, or have a home full of animals that give a foul odor to your home, your confidence is much likelier to be lowered. In these cases, it’s best to go on a date with the mindset that if the person truly is the “one” for you, they would see past any shortcomings you may have in your living arrangement.

Confidence also can be created by going on a date doing something that you have done before. All too often, the first date is a new experience for those who lack confidence. If you happen to go to a new restaurant and order something you don’t like, it may give the wrong impression to your date- who may think you are too picky or unwilling to try new adventures.

Veteran daters will tell you that the more you date, the more you learn. And the more you learn, the more you can avoid dating mistakes and help improve your self-confidence. Whatever the case may be, only through experience will you be able to truly woo over the opposite gender as second nature.

Always try to have fun on the first date, and any dates following you will leave a good impression. Take note that a failure isn’t always a setback, but just another reason to keep dating to find the special someone for you. Armed with your new self-confidence, the chase for the “one and only” may now be easier than you had imagined.

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